Saturday, July 2, 2011

a short story (totally fictional)

There is a girl. I don't love her but I feel I could love her one day. I don't even like her at the moment. Well I like her but I don't "like like" her. I think I could love her if she changed. I think I could one day love her if she became cooler, like maybe if she listened to cooler music and liked cooler books. Then if she put the effort into understanding me and how complex I am then I could maybe love her. I don't think I could ever love someone who doesn't put that effort in, I'm not even going to bother with someone that doesn't. I met her once through a mutual friend, we were at a bar. When I met her I knew I wouldn't love her because she was at a bar. I don't think I would ever love a girl that hangs out at bars. I was just at the bar because my friends were there and I like to see my friends. It wasn't like I was hanging out there or anything, I was just seeing my friends. Anyway, I talked to her and she was pretty cool, not real cool or anything, but pretty cool. Mostly she was hot. I'm not superficial or anything but she was hot. I could love a girl that isn't hot, so really the fact she was hot has nothing to do with it. She liked pretty cool music, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and Radiohead. I like those bands too, but they are pretty typical of someone with good taste. It's obvious when they're someones favourite bands that they haven't really put effort into finding bands that really speak to them in a personal way. I guess I'm just deeper than most people though, I'm not better, just deeper. Actually sometimes I feel like I would like to be not as deep as I am. I just can't help being like this though. If I want to love someone they need to be able to understand my complexities. I have seen her a few times since I met her at this bar, and she is pretty cool, but not really cool. I don't think I would want to date her, I need a real connection before I date someone. Maybe she will get to that stage one day but I doubt it.

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