Sunday, July 17, 2011

Adult Respite.

I spent three nights this week in Adult Respite. After what was pretty much a two and a half day long panic attack and feeling like I was falling apart completely I was sent to a place where I could chill for a few days. Everyone was incredibly nice and spoke in quiet soft voices and said positive things. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, I prefer the company of the cynical and sarcastic. There was a guy there who I named "chief" because he had long dark hair and didn't talk but then it turned out he did talk and his name was Tama. I felt out of place, I don't know what I expected maybe David Foster Wallaces and Spike Milligans but in reality the mentally ill are not that exciting. Maybe I am romanticising my condition too much and think I am anything like these amazing people. I have probably more in common with the 50 year olds who never got over this shit and have been medicated to a state where they can no longer think. I've been out for less than a day and am already feeling like crap. I really don't think I can survive a life like this.

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