I wake up for the second time around midday or so. I then start thinking about what I'm going to do for the day and waste time on the internet, this is usually one of the high points of the day, before I actually get out of bed. I am slightle more confident and usually feel way more motivated to do stuff. Then I get up, have a shower and get ready to leave.
I only ever get about 30% of what I plan to do actually done. I usually don't leave the house before 3. Before I know it it's 5 or 6. I cook an unhealthy meal for dinner or get chips. I hang with my flatmates for a while and usually quite enjoy it. This is my second highest point of the day.
But for some reason or another I usually decide to be social and go and visit friends in the local area. This sooner or later turns into some sort of small party with the same people all the time, Nick, Stephen, Alice, Will, Emma, Chris Mitchell. I feel awkward for a while then I smoke some weed and sometimes drink some beers. Everyone else has a good time and I guess I do too, but it's hard to tell anymore. I stay whereever I am for way too long and by the end of it I feell real crap. Something usually happens to make me feel angry or sad or something. I go home think about shit I shouldnt think about for way too long and get to sleep way too late.
I think I need some new friends that are completely seperate from this group that I hang out with now. There is nothing wrong with these people but ive just put myself in a position where I find it hard to actually enjoy being around them. I love them heaps but I hate who I am and how I feel around them.